Forgiveness as forgetting someone.

I am starting to forget you. I don't think about you that much and it's supposed to be a good thing... Although I feel sad. It is funny how life puts you by accident in front of someone you'll never forget, without you even noticing, it becomes the one thing in your mind.
I was trying to hide it but now I'm trying to find it. It is stupid, I know... but today I woke up feeling a heavy heart, because I certainly wish you were here sometimes. Because when things weren't easy I liked to be able to rely on you.
But like everything I've ever known it will disappear one day, so I think it isn't even worth trying to hold on so tight. I might as well let it go.
I hate complexity and I hate simpleness, both of them can give me the worst headaches. It also bothers me to overanalyze everything this much. I can't feel any feeling without flailing it. Some people say that it's because I am intelligent... Well I disagree. I think it is more related to personality, which means that I've been raised to question absolutely everything I do, see, listen... or feel. I wasn't taught to overanalyze my feelings, but it just came along with the other stuff my parents told me to do in this life.
I do feel so much better when I am away. Maybe I should take off, grab a backpack and get the hell out of here. "Get lost so I can find my self" kind of bullshit... which I am starting to think is not such kind of thing.
I don't know why I am writing in English today. It might be the weather, who the fuck knows.

I feel numb.